Geese.

Whwre would we be without geese? People witter on about how the internet has changed everybody's lives but I think geese are just as important. It can cost as much as £160,000 to have a conservatory built and the final structure is often a terrible disappointment. I've just ordered one from a firm called Conservatories put up by Geese and it's only costing £35.

The workforce flew in this morning at nine o' clock sharp and they're already pecking away at the footings. Normal builders would have the bloody Chris Moyles show blaring away on Radio One but not these boys, apart from the occasional quack they're toiling away
in silence.

You might think that communicating with geese could be a problem but it's not. You just have to be clear and direct with sounds and movements. For instance, two quacks and a firm shrug of the shoulders means, That wall needs to be further over there.

During their teabreak I'm going to give them a laugh by taking out some cream crackers and calling them 'cream quackers'.