The binmen

Thursday is always exciting because it's the day the binmen come. They arrive about 11.30, sometimes a little later. I'm very careful with recyclable waste, I think they appreciate that.

They're rather a rum bunch and, unusually, one of them has a beak. His name is Malcolm Snead but most people know him as,The Man with the Beak.

Pat from next door has given me some cooking apples so I've decided to make an apple pie. No hurry though, I put up a shelf once without reading the instructions properly and it fell down in minutes. After the excitement of the binmen I'll make some tea and treat myself to a chocolate biscuit or perhaps chase a squirrel. Not sure yet.

Autumn is my favourite season. Some people say they don't like it because it means winter is on the way. These people are fucking vermin. Why can't they see things for what they are?

Last night I had a very strange dream. Dark and frightening. I would probably be haunted by it for the rest of my life if I could remember what it was about.